Friday, May 20, 2011

Collisions

http://www.flickr.com/photos/waferboard/
I have been putting off some of my writing because I haven't wanted to deal with some very extreme emotions that I’ve been experiencing over the past month.

The other day I was standing on the campus mall, waiting for a friend to pick me up for lunch, when BANG!!! I heard a loud crash behind me.

I turned around to see a pedestrian fall face forward, landing with a loud thud as his bare hands and knees kissed the concrete sidewalk. At the same time, a man on a bicycle plummeted head first into the grass and the bike went crashing on its side down the sidewalk.

It all happened so quickly. Two people going in the same direction collided. The pedestrian couldn’t see what was coming behind him. Perhaps he shifted into the path of the bike. What a shocking feeling, to be walking along, and then SLAM! Someone just nails you from behind.

As they exchanged cordial apologies, the biker put his hat and headphones back on. Sometimes we are so oblivious to what is going on around us. And we introduce so many distractions to our lives, on top of our already distracted minds that are constantly flowing with wants, needs, and to-do lists.

Recently I tried to help a friend who is going through a divorce. I was so shocked I didn’t see this divorce coming. Like the pedestrian-bicycle collision, it just hit me from behind with no warning. Why couldn’t I have seen how unhappy she was? Why didn’t I understand that her distance and isolation meant she needed help? It broke me to think of how long she had struggled and suffered alone, without help.

She was without clothes or basic possessions, so I went to her house to get a few things for her. It was a strange and sad and desperate feeling, trying to fill up one bag of items in the few minutes her husband would allow. What do you take? Surrounded by her pictures, clothes, jewelry, shoes, books, and various items, I quickly threw clothes and toiletries into the bag, as much as I could fit. Then I spied “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle on her dresser. Should I take it, I wondered. I grabbed it and shoved it into the bag. She will need this, I thought to myself.

I never fully realized how important that book was to me until this moment. Yes, I can see now, that in an extreme situation, I will choose to take Eckhart Tolle along with basic life necessities. When I was broken, this book opened me back up, just by helping me to change the way I think about things.

A few weeks later, I was talking to her on the phone, and she mentioned she was continuing the book, a little at a time. Yes, it’s that kind of book, I told her. You have to read little bits at a time and then give it all time to digest. She was dealing with her sadness, starting to make future plans and think about starting a new life of her own. The kind of life she had always wanted.

In the meantime, I worry about her safety, finances, legal issues, and more. I feel limited in what I can do for her because of my pregnancy…I’m not used to this. It frustrates me. I want to do more.

Sometimes, when I’m walking on the campus mall, I remember the collision. And I think of all the collisions that could happen. But my goal is not to fear all the collisions that could happen. Just focus on the moment. That’s what Eckhart taught me.

I blogged about two of my favorite Eckhart stories in a previous post, Ducks Crossing. Check it out.

1 comment:

  1. I love you my talented friend. I wish you would write more. I love, love, love, LOVE your writing. Great post. Love you!

    ReplyDelete

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