Personal Legend

I just haven’t gotten back into my routine yet. Ever since I went on vacation and then started a new job, I’m still sorting things out. Often I’m so tired I just can’t seem to make writing a priority. I have to figure out a way to change this. Maybe I need to enroll in a writing workshop. I also can’t seem to motivate myself to do re-writing or more query letters after a round of rejections….I did get a little inspired the other night when we began reading The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, which talks about the importance of finding your “personal legend,” or realizing your dreams. I’ll keep you posted on that.

My mom is doing IV antibiotics at home for a bacterial infection in her toe. Her recent hospital visit was scary for us all, being her first hospital stay in five years, when she was hospitalized for four months after a stroke. I think she felt—and we all felt—like this recent hospital visit was going to be like it was before, the way we felt when she first woke up and she couldn’t even open her eyes or talk and we all felt completely helpless and vulnerable. At that time, we held her eyes open and she wrote messages with colored markers on a dry-erase board. She went from bedridden to walking with a four-footed hemi-cane in a matter of weeks….but there was still so much healing to do—physically, emotionally, spiritually. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the healing goes on long after you leave the hospital. And this recent hospital visit reminded her of how far she has come. She can ask for what she needs, she’s not afraid to be alone, she speaks up for herself, and she’s much more independent.

I just hope that antibiotics take care of this infection. Every day, I ask the universe for two things: for my family to be safe and healthy, and to be able to realize my “personal legend,” to do the work I’m meant to do, whatever that may be.
 

Slide-Tape Recorder

 

For now, I’ll leave you on a humorous note. You can learn so much about people and past times by looking at their things. I’ve enjoyed looking at old church cookbooks for this reason. I find myself working in a place that seems like a museum—containing relics of the past. I’m uncovering all sorts of crazy gadgets that I’ve never seen before. This is a slide-tape projector. You put your slide carousel on the top and an audio cassette in the slot and it projects the slides on the screen with accompanying audio. I imagine this was quite an improvement to the standard slide projector.

Pictured below is some sort of primitive teleconferencing unit called a “Darome.” Note the dust. Oh, how far we’ve come.



Darome Teleconferencing Unit

Silver Lining

The last few weeks have been such a whirlwind. I had a rejuvenating vacation with friends in Portland and Sacramento. Upon my return, I started a new job, which (so far) seems to be one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. I knew I needed a change, but I didn’t realize how badly I needed this change. I already feel so comfortable and welcome in this new role—everyone has been so supportive and appreciative. It was long overdue.

We celebrated C’s birthday last weekend with a beautiful canoe trip on the St. Croix River between Taylors Falls, Minnesota and Osceola, Wisconsin. On our way home we stumbled onto the most unique sculpture garden. However, our day trip had an unexpected ending. We stood in the ditch and laughed and appreciated the fact that our car died in the most opportune location: right when we got back home, within sight of the VW dealership, which meant it would get towed for free by AAA. You have to appreciate your blessings in every form. Find the silver lining as they say.



Yesterday I saw this: “A big shot is just a little shot that kept on shooting.” – Anonymous

I am trying to keep on shooting. Although I am happy about the changes with my new job, I’m a little down about a few other things. My mom has a bacterial infection in her toe which has been lingering—despite numerous treatments with oral antibiotics—for several months. Yesterday she was admitted to the hospital to begin IV antibiotics. I’ve now received two rejections on the most recent article I sent out to get published. I haven’t heard back from one place but I’m assuming I won’t at this point. The news about our car has gone from bad to worse. It sounds like it may cost more to fix it than the car is worth.

Sometimes it’s hard to understand why things happen. For example, why my mom should have to suffer any more than she already has. Five years ago she had a stroke that resulted in a craniotomy, loss of function in her left arm, weakness in her left leg,  vision problems, and more. When I start thinking this way I have to remind myself what I learned back then. Accept it for what it is…don’t question it or resist it and flounder in “why” and “what if’s” –this will only lead to more suffering.